Off My Chest

Kicking cancer's ass and beyond

Stop Poking Me and Hold My Hand

hold handsDon’t you think it is long past time for real romance to make a  comeback? I mean the hearts and flowers kind of romance. The kind that  makes you hug yourself and twirl in a circle as soon as the door is  shut kind of romance,,, oh, and whatever the guy version of that is. The electronic substitution of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat etc. is about as delectable as fake food. (really? how can anything with any depth come from something called snapchat?) It is a very bad trade all together and we are all missing out. 

We have traded the “Gourmet-White-Linen-Tablecloth-With-Candles-And-Perfume-And-Floweres-And-The-Doors-Held-Open Romance” for the “Frozen-Dinner-In-Front-Of-A-Rented-Movie-At-Their-Apartment-And-They-Don’t-Even-Pick-You-Up” type of romance. We are settling for a text that says “Wanna Chill?”, rather than the ten-times-practiced-in-front-of-a-mirror-Invitation. We no longer luxuriate in the delicious anticipation of slowly getting to understand the mystery of someone, the carefully growing list of “firsts”, the creating of genuinely happy memories rather than paint-by-number-lists that have been marked off. It seems as if this art… the art of romance… the dance… been completely lost to a generation. They are accustomed to instant anything and disposable everything. Then, to make matters worse… we more “Vintage” singles have followed the electronic path to hurt feelings and doomed relations, rather than showing them how it’s properly done.

We need to get back to basics and start really getting to know each other….Pseudo-intimacy has been substituted for the real thing. We wake up next to each other before we even really know each other. We share too many personal private details about ourselves too soon, trying to Miracle-Grow emotional intimacy. Do you know every single color that is in your lover’s eyes or are you more aware about their “likes”? Who were they named after and what foods will they under any circumstances NEVER eat? Which Teacher did they secretly have a crush on in 7th grade and when did they feel like they were an actual adult for the first time? What are their politics and do they believe in God might be good to know too…. For crying out loud – can’t we make love instead of merely fucking? I don’t mean giving up the naughty or the fun in a relationship, but how about actually having a relationship rather than a status change.

Stop posting and start talking, stop poking and start holding hands, go out on a date rather than typing madly away online alone in a dark room, explore each other rather than web sites, live your status rather than sharing it, have real emotions not emoji’s, caress a cheek not a keyboard, argue in person – not in posts, touch rather than text, hug each other rather than a smartphone, whisper sweet nothings into someone’s ear – not the world wide web, look into each other’s eyes – not a lit up screen. Only then can you see who the other person really is… as a whole person rather than a sound bite. We all need some more depth not digits, conversation not comebacks, seduction of the senses not the masses. Convince each other that you have a relationship with each other… not the rest of us.

Love a person rather than “Liking” a page.

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One thought on “Stop Poking Me and Hold My Hand

  1. I LOVE THIS! You are so right, being old school and single kinda sucks because so many people have gone digital. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told “you should date online”. I respond with I prefer to meet people organically. They all think thats the best way to meet people, even the commercials say one in four relationships start online. We have become so lame that we can’t even do math, that’s 20% if the doctor said there is a 20% success rate for this operation, we would look at him like he had a 3rd eye and his brain had fallen out of it with such dismal results. I’m with you, I want a real human connection and I don’t want instant relationship. I may not be getting any younger but I’m in no hurry when it comes to the idea of a quality person in my life. Great post!

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